The Many Sides...Of Me

After reading several of my good friends’ blogs, I am shocked and astounded to discover that they have not been honest with me in all their dealings! I know! I'm having a very hard time with this realization, but after some time in my “happy place” and several batches of peanut butter rice krispies later, I managed to pull myself out of the hysteria and analyze well, myself. I’ve come to the shocking conclusion that I too am under false pretenses with you all. Yes, yes… Like a 20 sided die, I too have many faces.

1. “That one tall kid” This is the face that most people knew during high school: the shy, reserved, laid back, silent kid that hardly talks and blushes at the drop of a hat. Through a rigorous training regimen, I’ve managed to cast this face out to the outer depths along with the self doubt, embarrassment, and dorky glasses that came with it.

2. “The famous basketball player” This is the face that people usually see in my day to day activities. The usual victims of this face could be anyone: the old lady out for just a quart of soy milk and a wad of tofu, the lady at the register with the glazed look in her eye and a whiff of old cats on her breath, the occasional middle aged male on a junk food run at half time, but mostly the most innocent and therefore easily fooled of our modern society’s way of thinking… Small Children. These victims are easily identified by the gasps of fear and awe as I pass them, usually accompanied by a sudden stop in their tracks to take in the full effect of the behemoth they have the sure bliss to witness.
Auditory cues are listed below in order of appearance.
“Well aren’t you a tall glass of water.” (With a smile and a nod, I move on.)
“(Same as above), and I just happen to like moisture.” (While calculating the time it would take me to be out of the parking lot, I usually reply, “Yup…”
“Where do you play ball?” (When I supply my answer of, “The Gym”, I am usually met with a blank stare.)
“Mommy! Mommy! Giants DO roam the planet!” “Gasp!” “Holy COW!”

3. “Count Chocula. A.k.a., the stealer of souls.” Need I say more?

4. “Bigs” This is the face I put on when I perform with the awesome Coalescence. It was discovered while preparing for one of our many “gigs” when someone said that I was, “too nice to spit.” If you look closely when I take the stage now, my ego inflates to 10 times its normal size to match my head. (But sadly, it is still leagues behind some pros I know. I’m trying to fix it, sorry guys!)

5. “The man with no name” This face is seen only occasionally, depending on the schedule of the moon. It usually entails me, by myself, watching Sabrina with Harrison Ford. You’re not getting anything else about that.

6. “Adam” This is me, or at least, my diluted perception of me. Always willing to help someone out, trying to find my place, and loving every second of this time we call life.