Who Will Win "The Challenge"?
SQUIRRELS... FROSTED GOLDEN APPLE SCRAPS... AN AARDVARK JAMMING TO THE SWEET SOUNDS OF THE JACKSON 5... BEEF...
ATTENTION ALL!!! This challenge goes out to anyone who happens to read my blog. Your mission... Create a written masterpiece that uses all of the above phrases at least 1.5 times. It can be a story, a poem, or a haiku. It really doesn't matter!
Ready?
GO!
*WARNING!*
Reading the above may cause upset stomachs, headaches, earaches, just plain aches, various pains, hallucinations, sprouting fur, puberty, baked goods to be hurled in your general direction, little green men to appear and take you away to a far off land where the only you can do is fight evil in a never ending battle for your life, that one vain on your forehead to come "bursting forth", and various other forms of "bursting". Do not take if you're pregnant, plan on becoming pregnant, plan on having a social life, plan on having a soul after you die, plan to eat peanut butter straight from the jar, plan on planning, have ever seen an elephant fly, have ever had the word "cakeman" tattooed on your arm, have ever said the word "cakeman", or if you have ever dressed up as a rabid carebear and gone on a rampage.
posted by Adam at 1:48 AM
4 Comments:
That's really random.... I mean, CREATIVE!! I shall try to get on that boat as soon as possible. Or when I find my shoe... Whichever comes first.
11:27 AM
Hey good news! I found my shoe!
3:26 PM
Oops, I just said "cakeman." Guess I've been disqualified. *sigh*
3:59 PM
SQUIRRELS... FROSTED GOLDEN APPLE SCRAPS... AN AARDVARK JAMMING TO THE SWEET SOUNDS OF THE JACKSON 5... BEEF...
Once upon a time there lived a boy named Larry Otter. Now this boy wasn’t just any normal boy… he was a rodent-boy who lived with his Uncle Veroom and Aunt Petticoat because his real parents were killed by the evil Lord Moldyshorts when he was just a wee chile’. Anyways, this is how it went: they were chillin out in their tree trunk, Godfrey’s Hollow-Tree, when Lord Moldyshorts came and blasted them to pieces with nuts. Now these weren’t just any nuts; they were the GREEN NUTS OF DOOM that would only be shot from a cannon at the evil incantation of the unforgivable word: “Avada Beef!”
Anyways, Mr. and Mrs. Otter were dead, and their little rodent-boy son somehow survived the hailing nuts of doom and found his way to his aunt and uncle’s house. They didn’t like him very much since they didn’t like their neighbors knowing all his rodent-powers and such. So they locked him in the Death Shaft under the stairs until one day Larry got a letter from a flying fish. It read,
Dear Mr. Otter,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Squirrel’s School of Rodents and Aardvarks. Come to school now. Thank you. Why are you still reading? Hurry up!!
Sincerely,
Professor McCrap-it-all
Larry ran to his aunt and uncle and his piggish cousin Dumdley to tell them he was leaving, only to find them all gathered around the hearth eating “Frosted Golden Apple Scraps: The Food of the Future!!” Ignoring the blatant commercialism in the middle of his story, Larry told them and then left. He got on the Squirrel Express and was on his way!
While looking for a seat, Larry happened to come across an Aardvark jamming to the sweet sounds of the Jackson 5 named Roonil Wazlib. They became best friends even though Roonil had dirt on his nose. Then they met a girl Aardvark who was really pompous but cool named Grermione Hanger who charmed Roonil until they finally got together in their 7th year at Squirrels. Yadah yadah yadah. The End.
8:23 PM
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